Shitty day at work yesterday. One of the managers keeps touching me on the shoulder. Every day. It's something I've endured for a while, cringing physically each time, but yesterday instead of just telling me the tag of my shirt was out he asks me if he can tuck it back in. I say, "NO" and basically fold in on myself to get away from him and he DOES IT ANYWAY. OMFG, DO NOT TOUCH ME. This was the last straw, really, and while I was stewing, freaked out at my desk for about an hour, I finally got the courage to tell my boss about it. While I cried like an unprofessional the whole time. Fucking stupid. So instead of just telling the dude, "Don't touch my employees," he calls HR for advice on how to deal with the problem. Upon hearing it, however, they decide to make it official. Meaning they're going to document the incident and talk with us both.
This weekend I'm turning old. For several weeks I've been against it. I've tried to act like I don't care, pretend as if I've accomplished something someone would be proud of, but I haven't. It's totally my fault. I'm the biggest coward in the world. I do just enough to get by, always have, so no one would notice me.
Anyway, apparently I'm just going to hate on myself because I'm a bitch. And I really don't want to go to work today. I don't want to see that guy. I don't want to describe how it felt. I don't want anyone near me right now or at all, ever. When did I turn into a child? I was genuinely afraid of him. I shrieked no and cringed away. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND IGNORES THIS REACTION? And I feel so guilty for even saying anything. And gross. Did I overreact? Am I crazy? Why did bother me so much?