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May. 24th, 2012

circles

Worst Entry Ever

I'm so discouraged.  I don't think I can do it anymore.  I'm not that awesome and I don't recall ever thinking that I was, but people seem to keep reminding me that I'm not so I don't forget.  Thanks.  I don't really know what I was hoping to accomplish with that story anyway. 

Shitty day at work yesterday.  One of the managers keeps touching me on the shoulder.  Every day.  It's something I've endured for a while, cringing physically each time, but yesterday instead of just telling me the tag of my shirt was out he asks me if he can tuck it back in.  I say, "NO" and basically fold in on myself to get away from him and he DOES IT ANYWAY.  OMFG, DO NOT TOUCH ME.  This was the last straw, really, and while I was stewing, freaked out at my desk for about an hour, I finally got the courage to tell my boss about it.  While I cried like an unprofessional the whole time.  Fucking stupid.  So instead of just telling the dude, "Don't touch my employees," he calls HR for advice on how to deal with the problem.  Upon hearing it, however, they decide to make it official.  Meaning they're going to document the incident and talk with us both.  

This weekend I'm turning old.  For several weeks I've been against it.  I've tried to act like I don't care, pretend as if I've accomplished something someone would be proud of, but I haven't.  It's totally my fault.  I'm the biggest coward in the world.  I do just enough to get by, always have, so no one would notice me.   

Anyway, apparently I'm just going to hate on myself because I'm a bitch.  And I really don't want to go to work today.  I don't want to see that guy.  I don't want to describe how it felt. I don't want anyone near me right now or at all, ever.  When did I turn into a child?  I was genuinely afraid of him.  I shrieked no and cringed away.  WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND IGNORES THIS REACTION?  And I feel so guilty for even saying anything.  And gross.  Did I overreact?  Am I crazy?  Why did bother me so much?

May. 3rd, 2012

Dummy kill

(no subject)

Maybe I'm going crazy and that's why I'm stuck.  I finally got up to 128k and stopped because... well, I know what happens next but I'm not sure how to go about it.  Travel time.  That's what I'm stuck on.  Isn't that ridiculous?  If my group has got to go south and I want it to take a while--we're not talking 3 days but maybe two weeks--I don't want to go "Two weeks passed" that seems lazy and I don't want to describe every bloody day either.
I guess the real problem is deciding what to focus on before the journey gets dangerous.  I've taken a day to think about it and I'm still not sure.  I've been playing DA2 so now I'm distracting myself again.  Procrastinating.

I feel kind of silly because I'm worrying if this thing is even believable.  It's fantasy, who cares?  But it does have to be believable to a point, right?  Anyway... I've got one person at least that tells me what she thinks of it so far, but friends tend to censor their criticism.  

Maybe I'll go back to writing that zombie story I started.

Apr. 21st, 2012

Dummy kill

(no subject)

For the life of me I will never understand MPREG.  Perhaps it's because I don't really understand why ANYONE would become pregnant, even if they can.  
Don't get me wrong, kids are awesome and everything, but you can get those without getting pregnant.  They don't have to share your DNA or bust out of your womb like Alien...which, sorry, is how I picture it.  It's gross.  Babies are cute I guess, but when they're shooting out of your area they are not so cute.  Also, talk about putting a damper on your life.
Do they represent a complete relationship in MPREG?  What exactly is the draw?  I'm not--I don't... WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME

Apr. 19th, 2012

Dummy kill

I hope Karma is real

The problem with giving gifts anonymously is that some doucheface always takes credit for it.  "Yeah, that was me!  Aren't I the shit?" so next time I'm going to give shit in a box anonymously.  I hope it goes something like this:

Friend: "I just got this giant box for my birthday."
Doucheface: "It's great, isn't it? I'm glad you like it."
Friend: "Um.. thanks for the giant dump in the box, fucknut.  Go home and die."
Doucheface: *kills self*

Apr. 18th, 2012

Dummy kill

(no subject)

About to go for another marathon session of writing. Didn't get too far today (I'm one of those revise as I write kind of people) but I'm up to over 112k words now.  It's at a tricky bit.... but I suppose I can make it work.  
In other news, is it bitchy to be so done with all the depressing shit on my FB friends feed?  Holy shit.  This one dude, all he does is whine and the rest of them post depressing lyrics about breaking up and eviscerating themselves. Come on, homey, BUCK UP.  
Anyhoozle...  saw the trailer for Dark Shadows and I'm wondering... I used to watch the reruns when I was much younger and I don't remember it being that .. comical...  
Not that I'm complaining necessarily but hmmm.  Not sure. I'll see it; I'm a Burton fan.  Even if he seems to know no other actors than his wife and Johnny Depp.  

All right I'm done.  Now, for questing!  I mean... writing.

Mar. 31st, 2012

Dummy kill

Another (short this time) Story Update

Had a minor freakout and almost deleted the whole thing.  Instead I took out almost 8,000 words and then rewrote them.  About 86,000 now.  It's still far from over.

Mar. 27th, 2012

Dummy kill

Story update

I've written over 70,000 for Northkind and let me tell you, writing ahead is really the way to go.  Though, reading this over it makes me sad my life isn't as exciting.  They may nearly die a dozen times, doing things I am in no way capable of doing, but I'll be damned if my life doesn't consist of me just sitting around drinking coffee and energy drinks, writing my fingers to the bone.
I'm living vicariously through these poor people, who have a lot more courage than I.  Really, it's for the best that I'm not springing people from prison, or running a narrow escape from some Lord's estate, because I wouldn't make it out of any of these situations alive.

Anywho... I've been hurrying to reclaim lost time since I spent the weekend with my dad in San Antonio, helping him sell his wares at the gun show.  That was awesome.  I love spending time with him.  He's amazing! It's really cool to see him so excited about something.  I couldn't help but watch proudly as he discussed his vast knowledge about weaponry with folks who stopped by our table.  It was just the two of us, so setting up and packing away was a bitch, but it was incredible to see so many people interested in what we had to offer.

Had me wanting one of the new FN shotguns.  Surely that would be enough to scare people from my door XD  I'm not really into guns, never had the desire to own one myself, but I've often gone shooting at the range with my family and a couple of friends, just for fun.  The power of those things is almost overwhelming for me.

Well, I may throw another chapter of Northkind up.  No reviews yet, but I know people are reading.  Sometimes that's enough, but I'd like to know what they think about it.  I can only guess by the numbers.  The speculation is killing me!  I've been making Ashlie read ahead.  She's the first to read what hasn't been revealed yet to everyone.

I'm bushed but may write some more since work is hours away still.  

Thanks for reading :D

Mar. 17th, 2012

Dummy kill

Quick Update

I know I've been gone a while but meh, I didn't think anyone would really notice XD  I've been exceptionally busy with work lately, but in the past couple of weeks I started a new story which I'm working on sort of right now (I'm taking an internet break).  Just over 40k words now, and really, I know.  Should have started this shit in November considering how quickly it's going.
It's no where near finished but it's a blast to write and I'm having fun.  It's another Nick and Roger story, just a different timeline.  Sort of an origins story for Nick... and Roger I guess, but it's entirely in Nick's POV.
Anyway, that's what I've been doing.... can't think of anything else.

If anyone's reading this HELLO.  I AM ALIVE.

Sep. 15th, 2011

Dummy kill

The best new song that ever happened.

You shaved away my brain cells, you giant-eyed dragon face.
Someday I might kill you, slap you in your fucking face!

Sep. 7th, 2011

Dummy kill

Accidental Awesome

I only have a few minutes before I have to skip off to work, but I would just like to take a moment to express my joy and deep, honest regard for accidental awesome.  

Today's random discussion was about vinegar and salt flavored popcorn.  I unintentionally described it through text as "Vingary Poppeny".  I laughed so hard I nearly pissed.  I am dead serious. Every time I say it I fucking die.  Here's a picture I made:

Vingary Poppeny Vingary Poppeny

I literally cannot stop laughing at this shitty picture.  

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